- When humor goes, there goes civilization.
- The secret to humor is surprise.
- I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
- The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
- I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
- Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
- There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
- Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
- Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
- Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
- A study of economics reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
- I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
- That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
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