- “I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it.”
- “I always think clothes make you look fat, so I prefer to be naked.”
- “It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress.”
- “I would read Playboy magazine more often, but my glasses keep steaming over.”
- “I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
- “Certain times I like sex. Like after a cigarette.”
- “During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.”
(Glass breaks) woman: I think someones breaking in! Man: I'll take care of this (grabs a toilet brush) Woman: A toilet brush? What are you going to do scrub him to death? Man: Would you want to be touched with this?
When the Spice Girls chose their "Spicy" alter-ego nicknames, the girl with the biggest boobs should have chosen to go by Spice Rack
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly...on a broomstick. We're flexible that way.
If you're on the show "16 and Pregnant" you have a pretty good chance of being on the follow-up show "32 and a Grandmother"
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession
I saw an elderly women wearing a "Guess" sweatshirt the other day so I said ...82?? She didnt smile
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants"
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.
thing. You don't win once in a
awhile, you don't do things right
once in awhile, you do them right
all of the time. Winning is a habit,
unfortunately, so is losing."
Good things come to those whohustle while they wait.
The fastest way to pass your ownexpectations is to add passion toyour labor.- Mike Litman
Your ideas are likediamonds.. .without the refiningprocess, they are just a dirty rock,but by cutting away the impurities,they become priceless.- Paul Kearly
- The color blue makes me smile :)
- I just ate a PB&J sandwich :)
- Silk boxers feel weird O_o
- Maybe I’m sharing too much :/
- I’m sad and lonely
- Don't fall for anyone in life...! Until they are really ready to catch you in any situation
- Sometimes the dry tears are still wet, only because they are falling inside our HEARTS.
>>Loneliness is the universal problem of rich people.
>>Solitude: a sweet absence of looks.
>>Remember we're all in this alone.
>>Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone.
>>When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.
>>Last but not least: We've all been there.
>>To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.--Charles Caleb Colton
>>There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.-Dante
>>We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met --David Foster Wallace
>>Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
>>There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt.--Jhonen Vasquez
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| Approach the start of each day with something in mind and end the day with one word..done! |
 |
| Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. |
 |
| A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. |
 |
| Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself. |
 |
| Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends. |
 |
| You see things; you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not? |
 |
| Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything |
 |
| The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else. |
 |
| My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world |
“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.” -George Burns
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“There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” -Lewis Grizzard
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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” -John Waters
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“Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.” -Woody Allen
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“A dirty book is rarely dusty.” -Anonymous
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“How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.” -Will Durst
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“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” -Anonymous
List Of Quote And Status.
Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting. - Napoleon Hill
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Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
- Dr. Samuel Johnson
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It doesn't matter what you are thinking, or what fear you have, if you just do it! Action is the only thing that matters.. .I can see that at the end of my life, I am not going to look back and say, "I wish I had taken more action". A- Diana von Welanetz Wentworth
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
People become successful the minute they decide to. - Harvey Mackay
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I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist. ― Gena Showalter
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. ― Groucho Marx
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. ― Rodney Dangerfield
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. ― Spike Milligan
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. ― Rodney Dangerfield
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.― Lucille Ball
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. ― Steven Wright
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***<<<<<<<<<<<<
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
What you declare you will achive.
To accomplish great things, we
must not only act, but also dream,
not only plan, but also believe.
When you think you can't...
revisit a previous triumph.
Sometimes things become possible
if we want them bad enough.
To be a leader, you must
stand for something,
or you will fall for anything.
Don't you get it?
This very second you could be
doing something you love and
dream about doing. So do it!
NOW!
Courage is facing your fears.
Stupidity is fearing nothing.
The spirit, the will to win,
and the will to excel are the things
that endure. These qualities are so
much more important than the
events that occur.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. ― José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ― Oscar Wilde
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ― Mark Twain
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. ― Unknown
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. ― Emo Philips
I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist. ― Gena Showalter
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. ― Groucho Marx
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
― Rodney Dangerfield
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. ― Spike Milligan
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
― Rodney Dangerfield
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
― Lucille Ball
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. ― Steven Wright
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| Don't be so humble - you are not that great. ― Golda Meir |
List Of some Funny Saying And Whatsapp Status Making Idea.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. ― Rodney Dangerfield
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." ― Claude Pepper
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. ― Albert Einstein
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. ― Milton Berle
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ― Lana Turner
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you― Joey Adams
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. ― Ellen DeGeneres
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. ― Robert Benchley
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are. ― Jarod Kintz
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!! ― Bill Watterson
- Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
- smiling is the best makeup a girl can wear
- What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get tired, I put the mirror down.
- This body was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well
- Girls make as much sense as the ingredients in Four Loko.
- Nothing warms a woman's heart more than a man revealing his.
- If a girl compliments your dress, then you're wearing a pretty dress. If a guy compliments your dress, then you're wearing a slutty dress
- Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.
- What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.
- The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
- The deeper the grief, the closer is God!
- People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.
- The soul is healed by being with children.
- Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.
- Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
- The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man.
- The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month.
- The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.
- It's the great mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet tender joy.
- Love a man, even in his sin, for that love is a likeness of the divine love, and is the summit of love on earth.
- The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness.
If you tremble with indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine.
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Let the world change you than you can change the world.
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We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it.
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I am not a liberator. Liberators do not exist. The people liberate themselves.
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The first duty of a revolutionary is to be educated.
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The revolution is not an apple that falls when ripe. You have to make it fall.
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Cruel leaders are replaced only to have new leaders turn cruel!
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Words without deeds are worthless.
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Always struggle for victory.
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It’s a sad thing not to have friends, but it is even sadder not to have enemies.
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To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary … These procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution!
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If any person has a good word for the previous government that is good enough for me to have him shot.
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There is no other definition of socialism valid for us than that of the abolition of the exploitation of man by man.
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Many will call me an adventurer, and that I am... only one of a different sort: one who risks his skin to prove his truths.
>>>>>>>>>>>****<<<<<<<<<<<
Homeland or death! We will triumph!
In order to write about life first you must live it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>****<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
When you start to live outside yourself, it's all dangerous.
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Intelligence is so damn rare and the people who have it often have such a bad time with it that they get bitter or propagandistic and then it's not much use.
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Death is like an old whore in a bar--I'll buy her a drink but I won't go upstairs with her.
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Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.
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Being against evil doesn't make you good.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>****<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Life isn't hard to manage when you've nothing to lose.
- There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
- All things truly wicked start from innocence.
- I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
- Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today.
- Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- I drink to make other people more interesting.
- Write drunk; edit sober.
- All thinking men are atheists.
- When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
- Never confuse movement with action.
- An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- The hard part about writing a novel is finishing it.
Dreams are necessary to life. ― Anaïs Nin
Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be. ― Joy Page
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. ― Walt Disney
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ― Mark Twain
No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big. ― Anon.
A goal is a dream with a deadline.- whatsapp status
2. “Be so happy that when others look at you, they become happy too.”
3. “I have chosen to be happy, because it is good for my health.” –Voltaire
4. “A negative mind will never give you a positive life.”
5. “Life is a one time offer. Use it well.”
6. “H.O.P.E. Hold on. Pain ends.”
7. “It’s a good day to have a good day.”
8. “On the other side of fear lies freedom.”
9. “It’s never too late in the day to start your day over.”
10. “The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.”
- It's Easter. Let's get wild and eat chocolate like there is no tomorrow!
- My oldsters defendant American state of being a deceiver. I simply checked out them and same "Tooth fairy, Kriss Kringle, Easter Bunny!" and walked away sort of a boss!
- What did the daddy Easter egg do once the mother Easter egg told him a joke? He cracked up!
- I became the Easter bunny as a result of i prefer hopping around with a fairly girly basket! World Health Organization ar you to evaluate me!
- Easter is my favorite time of the year as a result of I will eat the maximum amount chocolate as I like!
- How does one celebrate Easter? I feast on chocolate!
- What a cheerful Easter, being woken by my very own playbunny!
- You're eggs-tra special! Happy Easter.
- I'm egg-cited for Easter!
- I like my womens underwear like how I like the sun.......hot, looks better going down and disappears at night This weekend I hope I am as wasted as my time spent on Facebook
- If we are just subscribe and "Like" each others statuses but aren't friends... are we having a secret Facebook affair?
- Weird how an attractive face is criteria by which one decides whether to lick the area that someone pees from.
- I went down on an Indian chick once and my breath still smells like curry
- Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons....they don't have a wife to go home to or they have a wife to go home too
- I met a girl at a bar and after a few drinks her pants dropped faster than Facebooks stock value
- Today I held the elevator door for a retard.. Oops sorry maybe i shouldn't say this word.. I meant the 'lift'
- my boyfriend thinks i do everything in extremes.. Shall i agree for a lesbian threesome or burn down his house.. I dont know!!
- Kind of person I have turned myself into I don't expect no likes on my posts. Unicorns don't.
- My girlfriend says that I never solve my own problems. How do I prove her wrong?
- when she said, "I can drink you under the table!" I thought she was offering me a Bl0wj0b and that's why my pants are down, Officer.
- I went to a theme park yesterday... the theme was h0rny single mothers
- I don't always practice safe texts but when I do, I'm usually on public transit.
- I don't commute to work, I pilot a fighter jet and the cruise and volume controls on my steering wheel are missile launchers.
- I really need to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up because I'm 100% certain this job ain't it.
- I fuggin hate these two types of people in the world 1) People who find a way of putting animals into words that aren't actually there.....2) Hippocrites.
- I've just ordered the personal number plate 'BAA BAA'....I'm sure it will look cool on my Black Jeep.
- With the present economy, bread and water is the new steak and wine.
- When life gives me lemons I put my foot up its a**!
- My rabbit died today... now its just "Some bunny i used to know"
- I wish there was a way to notify the cars behind me that it's really not me, it's the a**hole in front of me!
- My passive aggressive way of telling my co-workers to stop eating my food is putting up "missing" posters around our workplace with a picture of my sandwich on it..
- Easter is that the solely time of the year wherever it's safe to place all of your eggs in one basket!
- You are my sweet bunny and that i extremely do love you! Happy Easter.
- How Many rabbits will it desire modification a lightweight bulb? just one if he hops right to it!
- To would like you all the thrill and peace of this happy Easter!
- Wishing you a colourful, bright and gay Easter.
- The Easter bells are fain ringing.
- How do rabbits travel? by HAREplanes!
- This Easter bunny's got lots for you!
- Happy Easter my very little bunny!
- Did you hear concerning the wealthy bunny? He was a million-hare.
- Why did the Easter egg hide? Coz he was a bit chicken!
- Just noticed Easter bunnies do not lay eggs... Waaaaahh!
- I do all the work. The Easter bunny gets all the glory!
Top Whatsapp Quotes and Status messages for Exams
- "Screw Keep Calm , Its Exams "
- The only good thing about this math exam is that for each question I at least have a 25% chance of getting it right.
- I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
- "To compete in a global economy, our students must continue their education beyond high school. To make this expectation a reality, we must give students the tools they need to succeed, including the opportunity to take a college entrance exam."
- "I know that if I'd had to go and take an exam for acting, I wouldn't have got anywhere. You don't take exams for acting, you take your courage."
- "I mark a script like an exam, and I try not to do anything under 50 per cent. Similarly with the part. And also film is a peculiar thing, parts don't necessarily read in script form anything like as well as they can do when it comes to materialising."
- "I had never passed a single school exam, and clearly never would."
- I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- "When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible."
- "I was probably more scared of my high school exams than I was of the Oscars. At the time you think it's everything and if you don't do well, your life's over. Opportunities are gone. So the more you do it, the less the fear is present."
- "The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or when we are in love."
- "I got expelled from high school, and then did my exams from home. I decided, through that experience, that I was going to expediate my plan and didn't go to university. Instead, I went to
- a community college and studied the theory and history of film with the idea that I wanted to write and direct."
- Good luck to all of you taking your exams. Try your best but remember there are ways to be successful in life without amazing grades
- "Taking final exams? Good luck. I believe in you. But I also believe that snakes are sperm on the egg that is Earth, so my beliefs are iffy."
- "Wanting to do well on exams, yet not wanting to put in the effort to study..."
- The longest five minutes in the world are the last five minutes of a lecture while the shortest five minutes are the last of five minutes of an exam.
- Exams + Facebook = Your head is in the wrong book!
- I wish forgetting our problems were as easy as forgetting everything we've learned after an exam.
- "Dear person who's sitting next to me on exam, please write bigger. Sincerely, I can't see what you're writing."
- "Dear google, could you sit next to me during an exam? Sincerely, every student."
- "Reading through the exam and thinking, 'When the f*ck did we learn this?'"
- The feeling you get after finishing your last exam.
- "To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe. Best wishes for your exam."
- Studying for finals is a lot like getting punched in the nuts.
- During last 5 minutes of examination every student gets a super natural power ?
- "If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live"
- "The brain is the most outstanding organ It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall"
- A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world
- "Why study for exams? Are they not about what you know, not about how much you can cram into your head the night before?"
- Examinations is when on question when will you be free? you are looking on calendar instead of clock
- Night before exams is like a night before Christmas You can't sleep and yet hope for a miracle
- The goal of education is to replace an empty mind with an open mind
- "After the first exams, I switched to the Faculty of Philosophy and studied Zoology in Munich and Vienna"
- Why We Sometimes Write Etc In Exams? Because It Means E (End Of) T (Thinking) C (Capacity)
- Why is it so EASY to fail but so HARD to SUCCEED?
- 80% of the exam is always based on 1 lecture that you missed and 1 topic that you didn't prepare
- Sometimes I think to write LOL at the end of every answer in exams
- "Law of studentology: Book continues to be in state of rest or covered with dust and soil, unless exams are appeared"
- Group Project: 1 person does all the work Everyone takes credit
- "It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. Say No To Exams"
- I wish I could forget all the bad times in my life like I forget everything I have studied seconds before an exam
- I am in a relationship with studies and its complicated
- "The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want"
- "Exams make us tired nervous & sick ahhhh im looking forward for a day without ,exams im sure that it will be a day in heaven because life is fuuullll of exams"
- Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructors course
- "Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer"
- "I hate studying for exams, Is there an APP for that?"
- "Biggest Mystery of Maths, 1000s of years passed, Millions of theorems derived, Millions of formulas made, But still, X is unknown!"
- "The more we study, the more we discover our ignorance"
- "The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure"
- "In exams, we look up for inspiration, down for desperation, left and right for information"
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. ― C.S. Lewis
***********
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. ― John Lennon
***********
I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living. ― Steven Spielberg
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The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ― Eleanor Roosevelt
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The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the smallsteps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. ― Oprah Winfrey
***********
The whole life is a succession of dreams. My ambition is to be a conscious dreamer, that is all. ― Swami Vivekanada
***********
Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
And while the law of competition may be sometimes hard for the individual, it is best for the race, because it ensures the survival of the fittest in every department. ― Andrew Carnegie
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. ― Laurence J. Peter
The golden rule for every business man is this: “Put yourself in your customer’s place.― Orison Swett Marden
Business opportunities are like buses, there’s always another one coming. ― Richard Branson
A man should never neglect his family for business. ― Walt Disney
The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time. ― Henry Ford
A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts. ― Richard Branson
To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart. ― Thomas Watson, Sr.
If you work just for money, you’ll never make it, but if you love what you’re doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours. ― Ray Kroc
Out there in some garage is an entrepreneur who’s forging a bullet with your company’s name on it. ― Gary Hamel
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. ― Senator Everett Dirksen
Confidence is contagious; so is lack of confidence. ― Vince Lombardi
My favorite past time is going through super star girls photos until I find the super sense girl that they've tried to bury under thousands of Whatsapp selfies.
I tell everyone goodnight then stay awake and look at Whatsapp and Facebook and like things but never talk to anyone.
I'm starting to like Whatsapp , which is weird because I hate pictures.
I looked at my Whatsapp photos and realized I look beautiful.
Blah blah, random somewhat motivational post designed to give you a warm fuzzy and positive outlook for the day but could also be someone looking to get several likes at any rate, blah blah, and blah some more, then ending it with "Have a good Sunday
I'm not glad it's "Friday" I'm glad it's "Today". Love your life 7 days a week.
It's weird how following someone on Whatsapp allows you to see a person everyday yet they might not even know you exist.
I’ve just un-followed 2000 people on Whatsapp because they're ugly and post the same selfies everyday.
It doesn't matter what you studied and what you work. The only thing which matters at end of the day is the money in your bank account.
Anyone knows my Whatsapp username not making a new account again.
I have to agree. I know he says some pretty inspirational things, but we're fully capable of motivating ourselves.
There shouldn't be a fear of getting old. It's the fear of not getting there that scares me.
If you're starting a metal band and need a name, chances are you'll find one in a biology book,
Exsanguinations, Pathogen, Rigor Mortis, Carcinogen, Antigen, Blood Bourne, Vector. I'm sure these are all currently existing bands.
Are people upset because someone they knew died or are they simply upset at the fact that they're reminded that they too will die?
Eating a whole apple core because you can't be bothered going to the bin, admit it, you've done it.
I am coming back to face the reality that a normal day is not beer on the beach or calamari in the belly.
I absolutely hate Whatsapp , and anything else having to do with hashtags.
I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn't end until your early thirties.
I have friends and acquaintances of various races and ethnicity. I consider myself a culturally sensitive person. But I seriously think there should be a universal deodorant rule.
If life was like a video game, I could turn it off when I don't want to play. Or I could roll back to an earlier save file. Or I could simply pause it while I go take a nap. This would be so much better.
Can you believe that it's faster for me to restart my computer than wait for windows to recognize and use my headset?
Someone stands to gain a ton of money by starting the Whatsapp app, considering there's no place to set up and jam without feeling your friends secretly hate you for doing it.
If you haven't watched Sound City yet, you owe it to yourself to do so. It's a history lesson in music and the recording industry. It reminds us that digital technology has enabled people who have no business in the music industry to become stars.
It’s Weird that all pics shared from Whatsapp are always blurring.
I think it's weird if a girl doesn't have an Whatsapp now days.
All you hipster need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don't even listen to them.
Social Media Rule #32: If you have to share it before you can see it, hear it or read it then it's probably crap and you're probably an idiot for falling for it.
After a series of experimental nights, my observations have led me to the stark conclusion that gin and tonic is the devil.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter. ― John Gottman
A man without a smiling face must not open a shop. ― Chinese Proverb
Customers don’t expect you to be perfect. They do expect you to fix things when they go wrong. ― Donald Porter
Every great business is built on friendship. ― J.C. Penney
The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed.― Henry Ford
The secret to success in business, and in life, is to serve others. Put others first in all you do. ― Kevin Stirtz
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not a single act, but a habit. ― Aristotle
In business, three things are necessary: knowledge, temper, and time. ― Owen Fellt
Businesspeople are like sharks, not just because we're gray and slightly oily, or because our teeth trail the innards of those we have eviscerated, but because we must move forward or die. ― Stanley Bing
Drive your business. Let not your business drive you. ― Benjamin Franklin
The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows. ― Aristotle
No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution. ― Niccolo Machiavelli
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
Money talks…but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.
We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
Google Maps really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
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